Reasons Why the Pelicans Suck So Bad

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The Lakers beat the Houston Rockets  bad earlier this week. How bad did the Lakers beat the Rockets? The Lakers beat the Rockets so bad, that guard James Harden requested a trade to the Nets. The Lakers are highly favored to pluck the Pelicans tonight at the Staples Center, the Lakers better win, especially after the Clippers beat them earlier this week .  Lets break down the Pelicans and try to figure out why they suck so bad.

Reason #1 Why The Pelicans Suck So Bad

J.J. Redick

Why is he still in the league? J.J. is complete garbage. He has never been good. The NCAA cheated for Duke and so he scored all of his collegiate points at the free throw line. But J.J. does not get that Dukie home cooking in the NBA. He cannot dribble, he cannot play defense, he cannot create his own shot, J.J. is a broke Ray Allen who cannot dunk. He is slow and he just plain sucks. He is a millionaire so lets not take it easy on him. Every team he has ever been on has sucked, why? Because J.J. Redick was on the team.  J.J. you are the weakest link. J.J. you are the reason every team you have been on has been complete garbage because your game is garbage. J.J. is the opposite of clutch. He is a bad shot brick waiting to happen, when the game is on the line get ready for a J.J. Redick airball. What makes it even harder for the Pelicans to swallow, even with the bird’s large gullet, is that J.J. is a veteran and he is one of the highest paid players on their team, this is why the Pelicans suck so bad.

Lets keep it real on J.J. Redick. He is a millionaire so lets not feel sorry for the piece of garbage. The powers that be, whoever they are, have given J.J. Redick a raise when they would have given a pink slip to anyone else. Why? Maybe, white privilege? J.J. Redick stinks so bad he makes me ashamed to be a white man, the fact that he is considered to be one of the best white players in the league is just pathetic. Lets take race out of the problem, the problem is that J.J. has always been put on a pedestal since his Duke days, when Dicky V, was verbally blowing him every game on national television, ”Oh, J.J. Oh Baby OH!”  and people drank the Kool aid thinking this dude was Larry Bird or something. J.J. has been in the league ten years too long. No NBA team will win a championship with J.J. Redick on their roster.

Go Lakers.

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