Sam Presti is going to draft me in the first round. He’s going to draft you, too. And you. And you over there with the wooden leg and the bad handle? Get ready to hear your name called by Adam Silver one June night, too. It’s inevitable. Presti has to use the approximately 1.5 million draft picks he has acquired in his multi-year quest to demolish the Oklahoma City Thunder so my message to all Americans of any age or physical ability is to have your NBA Draft stage apparel pressed and ready to go.
Sam Presti is unhealthily fixated on first round picks.
The NBA has to stop this man.
One trade is too many and a hundred trades is not enough
The NBA has stepped in on flailing franchises in the past. The Thunder won’t be the first time the league has flexed this muscle. In 1982 the NBA once placed a trade embargo on the Cleveland Cavaliers. Cavs owner Ted Stepien was making disastrous transactions that were damaging the franchise. Eventually, the NBA instituted the “Stepien rule” which made limited teams’ ability to trade first round picks in consecutive seasons. In 2015 Adam Silver put an end to Sam HInkie’s Process in Philadelphia. He convinced Sixers’ ownership to install Jerry Colangelo as Hinkie’s boss. Obviously, that was a Fredo Corleone fishing trip arranged by Michael Corleone.
Both Stepien’s era of ineptitude and The Process were bad for the NBA’s public image. The top of the franchise directed both experiments. That magnitude of designed incompetence made it difficult for the league to maintain the illusion of competitive balance. For the sake of the fans, the television partners, and, yes, the Vegas books the NBA needed to intervene. The league is obliged to shut down any operation where a franchise is giving away top picks (80s Cavs) or basically holding roster tryouts during real games (Process Sixers).
Time for a talk with Sam
Presti and the Thunder need an intervention. Yes, Presti is assuring us he has a master plan, but the 73 point loss last Thursday night to a mediocre Memphis Grizzlies screams otherwise. It was the NBA equivalent of finding your brother naked in an alley holding an empty fifth of whiskey. Your brother may tell you he’s got it together but the fact that his breath could power a passenger jet and he can’t remember what happened to his pants tells you the real story. Likewise, the Memphis debacle is showing us Presti has pawned his wedding ring for a twelve pack of Coors.
Just look at Presti’s “plan”. The Thunder are stockpiling first round picks in a league that no longer values first round picks. They are hoarding cap space as if Oklahoma City is a destination spot for superstar professional basketball players. No offense Oklahoma City, but I would bet at least a third of the average Joes in your town are desperate to leave. The Thunder are tanking to get more declining assets and hoarding cap space they’ll never use like a 1970s Pet Rock collector. More 70 point beat downs are in the offing. Sam is not okay.
Stop this, Adam Silver, you are our only hope. Sam Presti has hit rock bottom and he’s threatening to take the NBA with him.Presti needs an intervention Presti needs an intervention Presti needs an intervention Presti needs an intervention