The following comes courtesy of Bard, Google’s AI platform except where bold.
Don’t just watch the game, play along with thePeachBasket Pick’em!
The Boston Celtics defeated the Miami Heat 116-99 in Game 4 of the Eastern Conference Finals on Tuesday night at TD Garden in Boston. The Celtics now lead the series 3-1 and can clinch a trip to the NBA Finals with a win in Game 5 on Thursday night in Miami [Well, that’s not exactly how it works. The Celtics did win, but the Heat still lead 3-1].
Jayson Tatum led the Celtics with 31 points, while Jaylen Brown added 24 points and 12 rebounds. Al Horford chipped in 16 points and 10 rebounds for Boston. [More Bard hallucinations. Tatum finished with 33 points, Brown had 17 points and 4 rebounds and Horford added 12 points and 7 rebounds]
Jimmy Butler led the Heat with 22 points, but he shot just 7-of-22 from the field [Butler was not as good as he had been. He finished with 29 points, but on 9-21 shooting from the field]. Bam Adebayo added 17 points and 10 rebounds for Miami [Adebayo was held to 10 points and 5 rebounds in 35 minutes].
The Celtics outscored the Heat 34-20 in the third quarter to take control of the game [Boston won the third quarter 38-23]. Boston shot 50% from the field for the game, while Miami shot just 39%. [Boston shot 51.2% while the Heat shot 43.6%]
The Celtics can clinch the series in Game 5 on Wednesday night in Miami [Nope. The Heat can clinch and the game is in Boston! But, with Gabe Vincent out the Celtics are favored to force a game 6!]
Here are some key takeaways from Game 4:
- The Celtics’ defense was dominant. They held the Heat to just 82 points, which was their lowest scoring output of the playoffs. [Heat scored 99]
- The Celtics’ offense was balanced. Tatum and Brown combined for 55 points, but seven other Celtics players scored at least four points. [The J’s combined for 50 points and I’m not sure that seven others scoring at least four would constitute balanced scoring]
- The Heat’s offense was stagnant. They shot just 39% from the field and made just 10 three-pointers. [They shot 43.6% overall and made 8 from deep while shooting 25%]
- The Celtics are one win away from the NBA Finals. They will look to close out the series on Wednesday night in Miami. [Sigh. Bard is doubling down]
Bard is great, but obviously still learning. The strengths of the platform right now are less in writing a detailed recap and more in doing things just a bit off center. Like, writing a haiku about this game (remember, Bard is still convinced the Celtics are up 3-1)
Celtics win Game 4
Tatum leads with 33 points
Heat season on brink
Then, I asked Bard to recap the game as short horror story. This, is, spectacular (albeit historically inaccurate 🙂 )!
The crowd roared as the Celtics took the lead in Game 4 of the Eastern Conference Finals. The Heat were on the ropes, and it looked like the Celtics were about to close out the series.
But then, something strange happened. The lights in the arena started to flicker, and the crowd began to murmur. A strange fog began to roll in, and the players on the court started to look scared.
Suddenly, a figure appeared in the fog. It was tall and thin, with long, sharp claws. The figure’s eyes were glowing red, and it had a sinister smile on its face.
The players on the court screamed as the figure lunged at them. The figure was too fast for them, and it quickly dispatched them one by one.
The crowd was in a panic. They tried to run, but the fog was too thick. They were trapped.
The figure turned its attention to the crowd. It raised its claws, and the crowd screamed in terror.
The figure was about to attack when the lights suddenly came back on. The fog disappeared, and the figure was gone.
The players and the crowd were stunned. They didn’t know what had just happened.
The game was over, and the Celtics had won. But they didn’t celebrate. They were too shaken up by what had just happened.
The players and the crowd filed out of the arena, and they all went home in silence.
No one knows what the figure was, or where it came from. But one thing is for sure: the Celtics will never forget the night they faced the basketball-playing monster.
